So I was watching Starship Troopers on TV the other night, well, because it was on and it’s pretty much the pinnacle of mankind’s artistic achievement. (I’m only half-joking; I fucking love that movie). Anyway, I got to thinking, what ever happened to that dude who played Johnny Rico? Was he some kind of 90’s action hero one-hit wonder? So I looked him up on IMDB. His name is Casper Van Dien (of course), and he’s been working steadily ever since the early 90’s. Most of his characters have good porno actor/jet fighter names like Ace Logan and Griffin Stone, and for good reason. If I had to bang a dude, and Mark Wahlberg was unavailable, it would probably be this guy.
Anyway… It turns out he plays like the 5th lead in a horror movie I’ve been wanting to check out on Netflix. It’s called The Pact and it came out in 2012, directed by James McTeigue. In short, it was a novice horror movie. That is, a horror movie for people who don’t like horror movies. It was adequately scary, but the story was confusing and the movie title had nothing to do with the plot. There was no semblance of a “pact” of any kind that I could surmise. The movie was alright, but just alright. McTeigue did a great job directing, though and the acting was all pretty solid too. It seems to me they got a little too ambitious with the plot and they had trouble keeping up the momentum that they built in the first half of the film.
The movie is about 2 sisters who go to visit their childhood home after their mother dies. There is some tension between them and their relationship with their late mother. Some strange things start happening in the house and mom’s ghost seems to be the culprit. One of the sisters disappears and the other one decides to put on her detective shoes and try to solve the mystery. She is a prime suspect in the disappearance of her sister but for some reason, there are no negative consequences for this whatsoever. She teams up with our boy Casper, the accidentally handsome town sheriff. Creepy things start to happen in the house and around the town as they get closer to solving the mystery. Of course they recruit a local medium and hold the obligatory ghost-movie séance. It turns out that mom’s ghost is not the one causing the disturbances.
Blah blah blah. Secret room, dark family past, serial killer, it’s all pretty familiar from here. I think they started off with a great premise but it got a little out of control and they weren’t able to follow through. Despite all that, the movie had some genuinely scary moments.
Overall, The Pact is pretty solid. Despite the fact that it exists on a rather well-trodden path of horror movie influences, and the somewhat disjointed plotline, it remains an interesting and creepy ghost story. There is a great dark gloomy atmosphere and that keeps us grounded in the horror universe. It’s odd that this is a fault, but McTeigue may have been too technical and by-the-book in his direction. Everything was technically proficient but it felt like it lacked a human touch. I’m not totally sure what I mean by that. It’s like the movie was directed by a directing robot. That sounds worse than I mean for it to sound. Also, something I found odd, the whole movie seemed to be a commercial for modern cell phone/computer technology. People were constantly (and awkwardly) using Siri-like voice commands on their phones and Apple-chatting or whatever it’s called. It’s fine if these things happen organically, but they felt to me like the whole movie was underwritten by Motorola or something. Anyway, just a little annoyance.
The verdict: Decent movie. Decent scares. All held back a bit by some storyline choices. Maybe the director just had too much confidence in us, the audience. We’re not that smart, otherwise we’d be reading the book. Just tell us everything that happens and don’t expect us to connect the dots. The best part of the movie was obviously Casper Van Dien, even though he contributed exactly nothing to the plot. Just like Jessica Alba in anything she’s ever been in.
- Is it scary? 6– There were some scary moments, mostly brought on by suspense and not so much by visual stuff.
- Originality: 4– Like I said, it’s all rehashed horror clichés, but they still do it in a way that feels like fresh.
- Blood: 4– There are some bloody scenes but this one’s more psychological than physical.
- Believability: 5– I’m going back and forth on this one. Big picture, there are serious elements that I didn’t buy, but in terms of the writing and the acting, everything felt pretty genuine in the moment.
- Setting/Cinematography: 7– The whole movie has this sort of oppressive murky feeling to it. Everything feels dark and scary.
Final Score: 26/50
DON'T GO UP THE STAIRS 